On friendship

When we were young we had many friends, in fact too many to count but as we grow older and moved on in life I find that the number of our friends has actually shrunk, dwindled to be exact. Wonder why?

And for those who have retired the number of friends you have is probably less than a handful.

The irony seems to me is that when you were busy crafting out a career, friends of all kinds flock to you like bees to flowers in bloom but now when you have plenty of time on your hands (in retirement), how come you have so few friends to spare?

I guess when we retire we retreat from the social circle of life. For many of us, we shied away from the public life that we once had.

We spend our days with family more than anything else and I would say like it or not, the time may have come when our spouse has actually become our best friend.

Henry Brooks Adams said this a long time ago and it’s probably still true even today, “One friend in a lifetime is much, two are many, and three are hardly possible. Friendship needs a certain parallelism of life, a community of thought, and a rivalry of aim.”

If I might say most of our friends are superficial; they all put on a mask of some sort and often are not there for you when you needed them most. I dare say that there are a few who will even take advantage of you if you are “not looking”. So be warned.

Now I can see why Charles de Gaulle, the great French general (who later on became President of France) had this to say about men and friendship, “The better I know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” How pathetic?

But as we grow older we actually need friends more than anything else. Honest and sincere friends to spend time with, to roam together and to talk about almost anything under the sun. Indeed friends that we will not be bored with one another even until the cows come home. Is that too much to ask?

The famous modern day English philosopher C S Lewis had this to say, “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” I wonder what he really meant.

Can we survive without it (i.e. friendship)? Of course we can if we must but I like what Lois Wyse had advised which is this, “A good friend is a connection to life, a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.”

Question is this, how do you find a good friend if you have not found one already in your senior years?

Well, an easier way out is that there’s no need to go about finding it, just be one and you could be surprised by what you’ll get.

To tell you the truth probably no man ever had a friend that he did not dislike a little. It’s a fact of life.

But that doesn’t mean friendship has no meaning or value.

Now, let me ask you this, if you were to sum up friendship in one word, what would that be? Think on it.

To all my friends out there I have this to say, thank you for being my friend. You’re simply the best!

Here's a lovely song entitled "The Friendship Song" or more aptly put "Friends are quiet angels" sung by Molly Pasutti, the music-video courtesy of "Musiconcepts". TQ for sharing. Enjoy.